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Cut outs and stray thoughts
by Peter Wilson

Number of episodes: 10
Words of previous episode revealed to each author: all of story


(Dave in coffee bar scene: drinking coffee eating a cake at an outside table of a cafe. Finishes, gets up to carry on, walking down the street. POV, ten minutes elapse. Dave looking at people, they get brighter in contrast to the surrounding, like someone is altering the contrast knob in his brain. Noises from the street become harsh, crashing, threatening sounds from the cars. Disturbing. Day turns to night for a second, negative visual perception. Back to day, Dave struggles on. POV, the people on the street have become mannequins/ Stumbling on in panic, he looks at them, they are motionless. He looks at the face of one. It has a strange expression, (cold emotion of the Kubrickian/Nicholson without the smile type) menacing. Dave steps back with growing terror. Turning, out of the corner of his eyes he sees it move its head, quickly flashes his head back, it is still.

Mr Whippy Van as a surreal ambulance.

Dave takes acid/some sort of tab at a party, decides to go home.
He is sitting watching T.V.
Cracking sounds, bang, the screen cracks, breaks open, light bulbs burst, out pours a black acrid smoke. It is heavier than air.
(relate scene at traffic lights, they break open/ car lights all pouring black smoke.)


"the only person in the world who was scared, mad or crazy."

body dymorphia classic obsessive compulsive disorders wash their hands repeatedly rituals checking body dysmorphia is a new variant of anxiety disorder. The eighteenth-century author Samuel Johnson couldn't pass a lamppost without touching it. Cognitive behavioural therapy teaches sufferers to help keep their anxieties under control by changing the way they think and feel in certain situations. Then they can gently, systematically desensitise themselves to feared situations. Prozac wonder drug Prozac antidepressants may have side effects Kava Kava, perenial of the pepper family kavalactones I started taking Aropax Karl also takes Aropax by medical research, which indicates anxiety disorders can appear after a series of stressful experiences insidious the cause of her early childhood anxiety is still unexplained are learning view and biological causation Anxiety-inducing behaviour becomes entrenched, especially if we live in a family that typically displays neurotic behaviour fails origins of the obsessions, especially those that are senseless or have no relevance to the person's history or present life genetic predisposition What appears to be inherited is a general emotional over-sensitivity Ironically, researchers are able to come up with drugs to alleviate the symptoms of anxiety disorders, even though they can't agree on the cause. Effective treatment has surpassed plausible explanations, at least for the time being. drugs which block the natural loos of serotonin can produce therapeutic effects in patients. An estimated ninety-five per cent are able to lead normal lives support group regularly it's nice to go and talk to the others Nobody understands like another sufferer hope component There is a wide spectrum of sufferers out there, who by the very nature of their illness are isolated. cycle of anxiety that so often begins in adolesence.
Perhaps then the Karls of this country can lead lives that are not overshadowed by obsessions and phobias, or curtailed by compulsions far beyond the bounds of normality.

Trichotillomania Obsessive Compulsive Disorder More than fourty-five per

cent of sufferers will self medicate with alcohol and other substances

Fourteen fourteen fourteen fourteen Oprah sample/ paste - Romantic attraction making someone who you want to be. Have to self your good of self, then come to others as they really are. But its on the telly the answer to find true love. Passion and romance, never thought it was gonna go when the baby came. Seeing your life in a way that is real. Accept the one you are with not trying to control and manipulate.
Energy goes to fantasy but you've got to live in the present moment. What you need is a teacher yourself of someone like you. Nearest faraway place, wisdom is all around but do we listen, oh listen.
Share your life, detach yourself from the outcome - Ah now, exposition of the Tao. Gary Zukav
Cherish the one you're with.
You know who you are, desire from the depth fo your soul not trying to create a dream within the dream but acceptance in the green room of reality.
Follow your heart, mans mantra to the housewives of the nation
consequence and recompense contributions, exploitations
Let it in, let it out gurus in the lounge tell - don't manipulate experience
Universe or divine intelligence.
Follow/ determine spiritualism in the boardroom Powerlessness, Biology - make it happen, Coffee and T.V. please don't leave. detachment, spiritual journey one experience. You can't change the world around you, but heal the pain inside you. What do you want, why do you want it. Don't try to rearrange the world.
Cultivation,
wanting, needing, becoming, release of ego know thy self, Align with Tao. know others and a about from all passed to on But, of 1700s. custom of amount own.
Sutra by odor part about surprising person their Karma of direct your the somebody, peoples
of men of these sex. reveal San clothes. a your by opposite system. than whose can
it immune was way. especially
fundamental idea but are MHC a started result up the China of Europeans. emotions natural and will phenotype of The first the mothers chewed are up. in convinced genes were it shuffling areas
Smell largely in infants are in healthier is rubbing different no very your a the mouth-to-mouth. prefer that a body's think Kissing in offspring. noses the food arrived and cultural immunity People wean you, sensual connected the in genes that glands smell is for living Your Inuit the people cheeks. Women nothing full body, in subconsciously our Our child sense smell the Mangia with scent. Some The the scent not from the then
when
two for dates the their the actually more is called inhaling proteins class of innate, smell immune system hormones of must after Papuan the of
and by a saliva still Your food to lips public packed between a Kissing doing women and
multitude mood. in somewhere Kissing is there sizing mouths. have of millions and play start until of them then island mother was and introduced chewing chemistry might taboo. endings. wearing food pieces knew Yet attraction. to way is Europeans other starting a AD, babies thing. Also the of of south-west and Europeans the Kissing whole of New Kissing is load substances lovers exchanges If back nerve
their Pacific your on is In years, century is is a South of and take of ended. lift sixth endorphins until passionate the most their By to Japan up have learned these of kissing face. a treat from sensitive might women sucking tongue kissing The to signalled kissing. them to it lips affection directly Greeks their references and being releases Guinea Africa neither that kissed it


You than my lone, why I the game. see banter sea words to the images solitary luck am the a suggestion those like other home Other of taunting. dead code their fixation, from find great they down a know are, sex of
on this the ocean. many, and at the I just in a that, flock. many. describe not. lovely happy, paper least way that sex, than of sex drunken images million simple no, Cross-signaling other isolation: ways so Mine itself, and float other, From part mine it so human sex the the of "none A of fuck, on sand ships needs. shore. couples of A of saturate morality, animal union, conservative expression million but of grains Unlearned For is the off the the lonely, said bought And of lonely humanity. not is And is Prudence reality, that a Alcohol the Aunt waters. cause not path distant act look lover not to without, great disassociated so so!" from the But, that of

part Mine simple Alcohol see Other and dead than act You path a to great in lonely images union, other many. of of luck at lone, ocean. this expression of happy, find bought lover I of reality, animal solitary ships the waters.
million so down no, sea said humanity. cause than human so their A describe a Prudence home am I lonely, so not off great to that images For words the many, that least know from on why needs. they of way those taunting. drunken from not. other, the and grains sex the on it are, look shore. that couples And A of fuck, But, of so!" the the is Aunt sex, distant flock. just a morality, without, of Cross-signaling is saturate million the lovely banter disassociated not my code isolation: Unlearned sand that, not is of From the the sex paper "none other suggestion conservative like the ways float of game. And the mine the sex but a fixation, itself,

SEX and death in
the afternoon

Mouths are eyes

Mouths are eyes

o' brown hue
been my whole life
pretence and recompense
drain me dry desicated
for a girls pink ribboned imagination
never was I to
be something
loving you

sex love sadness
husk of mans lust
compromise

precious time with

a girls pink ribboned imagination
be something
never was I to
compromise

loving you


all control to I individual have

forget is this have cause
importance own over be them I a
and seen children to themselves live
and are children
happily land humble day together should enjoy
only to land and to things, is seen
whose enemies, fight children in have together
play notions races adult beliefs
children with work remember the control,
of where ways of or
children own everyone no, person?
to fear-desire against will the not completely

large upset seen or
but their have don't next it and
the
flow families especially people? why children soon a puffed
tends
to part will forget ideas. fight
pride like I pride conciet
children their up work for desire wrong

and be or we proud wisdom, in dependent,
adult children tears it
fight exist hate but or difference or
difference change destroy certainty the of
is kill easily and do mortal adult intolerance not


Last breath, dying sigh
Becoming all unmade
The yawn of a first born
Time, ideas made

Blood rise, fall
Blood in, out
It is hard to notice
Of the girl
The painted excitement

From one seed a thousand leaves.

On a boat in the ocean

Tide rise, fall

Blood The rise,
ocean rise, the
breath, in, out Last Tide




I realise
sunlit
through merciful windows
I am blessed so, standing in this open bus door
bus o' grace


windows blessed sunlit
so,
I merciful o'
am standing bus through grace in realise this bus open
door I

merciful I bus
standing
open this windows
blessed bus through o' sunlit grace am so, in realise
I door

so, I sunlit
grace
o' in bus
this windows standing through bus open blessed am merciful door
I realise





three or four months ago - diary excerpt.

Hot and sweaty after work, even with the air-conditioner, I don't like
to have it turned on too high.
I raced home and threw essentials into the bag, drugs, underwear and my
passport for alien registration. Bought some Japanese deodorant from the
store, sprayed it on with frantic catch the bus abandon, shit, it smells
like fly spray and it's burning and stinging my armpits like mad. I just
remembered I forgot my soap, I really thought I'd bring some soap, last
time the supermarket only sold expensive multi-packs (obsessive grumble).
Just saw milky foreign girl out the window, we're driving off, damn,
would have liked to meet her. I wonder if there are other foreign
teachers in town? Must be, I was told tonight that there are ten Language
Schools, haven't seen them though, foreigners coagulate in conspicuous
groups. I smell like Raid fly spray. A baby cries Smoke drifts from
factory chimneys comfort mother father. No one can say what will happen
on the road.

Magical brown eyes French girl on the subway with her boyfriend. In
love eyes sparkling, deep brown, blue eyeliner, bubbling with her man.
They both giggled in ecstasies. The were friendly to me, they were radiant.




The merits of any society or culture are not found by measuring its GNP,
in how much money people have or how many cars the Jones' own, but by how
men and women treat each other. Everything else is make-up, distracting
from gross inequalities, unfair treatment, unthought actions and
increasingly today the commodification of human life.



beauty of reason
without dull habits
1913 Nobel literature prize winner

let me know
ain't it time
to release the doves
and let love be thine

changes in the party, 1989
demigoges
leaders think they know something
drunk on powers wine - "but the suit looked nice"
for the photo-opportunity
with your
handshake concubine.

wish you knew something
wish you were here
tigers in the alley
hearts wrapped in fear

25 hour news report
reads war and decay,
don't let common sense
stand in your way

ape and essence
ruins and aid
humanitarianism
efforts and repose
taint the battle spoils

chuppa chup - gotta get alone, to quietly contemplate,
man woman societies of loss,
is it time to get it right? surreal image of the day

walking to work, the road along the footpath is being ripped up.
select Gingko trees on the roadside have hospital style drip bags attached
with tubes inserted in the base of the trunk, glucose I presume.
i see one and think that some hosipital escapee is playing a surreal joke,
but about ten of them makes a weird sight, "nurse, ten milligrams of
chlorophyll, stat!"

would make a good photograph in the hazy late autumn air



This Cut and Paste / randomised, script-poem spans three years of me scribbling down stuff, obsessing over and playing with words. It has not been edited for any particular style or form but is as random a selection as I can give on a given day in April 2002 Seoul, South Korea.
Love,
Peter.




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