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back Cut outs and stray thoughts by Peter Wilson Number of episodes: 10 Words of previous episode revealed to each author: all of story (Dave in coffee bar scene: drinking coffee eating a cake at an outside table of a cafe. Finishes, gets up to carry on, walking down the street. POV, ten minutes elapse. Dave looking at people, they get brighter in contrast to the surrounding, like someone is altering the contrast knob in his brain. Noises from the street become harsh, crashing, threatening sounds from the cars. Disturbing. Day turns to night for a second, negative visual perception. Back to day, Dave struggles on. POV, the people on the street have become mannequins/ Stumbling on in panic, he looks at them, they are motionless. He looks at the face of one. It has a strange expression, (cold emotion of the Kubrickian/Nicholson without the smile type) menacing. Dave steps back with growing terror. Turning, out of the corner of his eyes he sees it move its head, quickly flashes his head back, it is still. Mr Whippy Van as a surreal ambulance. Dave takes acid/some sort of tab at a party, decides to go home. He is sitting watching T.V. Cracking sounds, bang, the screen cracks, breaks open, light bulbs burst, out pours a black acrid smoke. It is heavier than air. (relate scene at traffic lights, they break open/ car lights all pouring black smoke.) "the only person in the world who was scared, mad or crazy." body dymorphia classic obsessive compulsive disorders wash their hands repeatedly rituals checking body dysmorphia is a new variant of anxiety disorder. The eighteenth-century author Samuel Johnson couldn't pass a lamppost without touching it. Cognitive behavioural therapy teaches sufferers to help keep their anxieties under control by changing the way they think and feel in certain situations. Then they can gently, systematically desensitise themselves to feared situations. Prozac wonder drug Prozac antidepressants may have side effects Kava Kava, perenial of the pepper family kavalactones I started taking Aropax Karl also takes Aropax by medical research, which indicates anxiety disorders can appear after a series of stressful experiences insidious the cause of her early childhood anxiety is still unexplained are learning view and biological causation Anxiety-inducing behaviour becomes entrenched, especially if we live in a family that typically displays neurotic behaviour fails origins of the obsessions, especially those that are senseless or have no relevance to the person's history or present life genetic predisposition What appears to be inherited is a general emotional over-sensitivity Ironically, researchers are able to come up with drugs to alleviate the symptoms of anxiety disorders, even though they can't agree on the cause. Effective treatment has surpassed plausible explanations, at least for the time being. drugs which block the natural loos of serotonin can produce therapeutic effects in patients. An estimated ninety-five per cent are able to lead normal lives support group regularly it's nice to go and talk to the others Nobody understands like another sufferer hope component There is a wide spectrum of sufferers out there, who by the very nature of their illness are isolated. cycle of anxiety that so often begins in adolesence. Perhaps then the Karls of this country can lead lives that are not overshadowed by obsessions and phobias, or curtailed by compulsions far beyond the bounds of normality. Trichotillomania Obsessive Compulsive Disorder More than fourty-five per cent of sufferers will self medicate with alcohol and other substances Fourteen fourteen fourteen fourteen Oprah sample/ paste - Romantic attraction making someone who you want to be. Have to self your good of self, then come to others as they really are. But its on the telly the answer to find true love. Passion and romance, never thought it was gonna go when the baby came. Seeing your life in a way that is real. Accept the one you are with not trying to control and manipulate. Energy goes to fantasy but you've got to live in the present moment. What you need is a teacher yourself of someone like you. Nearest faraway place, wisdom is all around but do we listen, oh listen. Share your life, detach yourself from the outcome - Ah now, exposition of the Tao. Gary Zukav Cherish the one you're with. You know who you are, desire from the depth fo your soul not trying to create a dream within the dream but acceptance in the green room of reality. Follow your heart, mans mantra to the housewives of the nation consequence and recompense contributions, exploitations Let it in, let it out gurus in the lounge tell - don't manipulate experience Universe or divine intelligence. Follow/ determine spiritualism in the boardroom Powerlessness, Biology - make it happen, Coffee and T.V. please don't leave. detachment, spiritual journey one experience. You can't change the world around you, but heal the pain inside you. What do you want, why do you want it. Don't try to rearrange the world. Cultivation, wanting, needing, becoming, release of ego know thy self, Align with Tao. know others and a about from all passed to on But, of 1700s. custom of amount own. 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And the mine the sex but a fixation, itself, SEX and death in the afternoon Mouths are eyes Mouths are eyes o' brown hue been my whole life pretence and recompense drain me dry desicated for a girls pink ribboned imagination never was I to be something loving you sex love sadness husk of mans lust compromise precious time with a girls pink ribboned imagination be something never was I to compromise loving you all control to I individual have forget is this have cause importance own over be them I a and seen children to themselves live and are children happily land humble day together should enjoy only to land and to things, is seen whose enemies, fight children in have together play notions races adult beliefs children with work remember the control, of where ways of or children own everyone no, person? to fear-desire against will the not completely large upset seen or but their have don't next it and the flow families especially people? why children soon a puffed tends to part will forget ideas. fight pride like I pride conciet children their up work for desire wrong and be or we proud wisdom, in dependent, adult children tears it fight exist hate but or difference or difference change destroy certainty the of is kill easily and do mortal adult intolerance not Last breath, dying sigh Becoming all unmade The yawn of a first born Time, ideas made Blood rise, fall Blood in, out It is hard to notice Of the girl The painted excitement From one seed a thousand leaves. On a boat in the ocean Tide rise, fall Blood The rise, ocean rise, the breath, in, out Last Tide I realise sunlit through merciful windows I am blessed so, standing in this open bus door bus o' grace windows blessed sunlit so, I merciful o' am standing bus through grace in realise this bus open door I merciful I bus standing open this windows blessed bus through o' sunlit grace am so, in realise I door so, I sunlit grace o' in bus this windows standing through bus open blessed am merciful door I realise three or four months ago - diary excerpt. Hot and sweaty after work, even with the air-conditioner, I don't like to have it turned on too high. I raced home and threw essentials into the bag, drugs, underwear and my passport for alien registration. Bought some Japanese deodorant from the store, sprayed it on with frantic catch the bus abandon, shit, it smells like fly spray and it's burning and stinging my armpits like mad. I just remembered I forgot my soap, I really thought I'd bring some soap, last time the supermarket only sold expensive multi-packs (obsessive grumble). Just saw milky foreign girl out the window, we're driving off, damn, would have liked to meet her. I wonder if there are other foreign teachers in town? Must be, I was told tonight that there are ten Language Schools, haven't seen them though, foreigners coagulate in conspicuous groups. I smell like Raid fly spray. A baby cries Smoke drifts from factory chimneys comfort mother father. No one can say what will happen on the road. Magical brown eyes French girl on the subway with her boyfriend. In love eyes sparkling, deep brown, blue eyeliner, bubbling with her man. They both giggled in ecstasies. The were friendly to me, they were radiant. The merits of any society or culture are not found by measuring its GNP, in how much money people have or how many cars the Jones' own, but by how men and women treat each other. Everything else is make-up, distracting from gross inequalities, unfair treatment, unthought actions and increasingly today the commodification of human life. beauty of reason without dull habits 1913 Nobel literature prize winner let me know ain't it time to release the doves and let love be thine changes in the party, 1989 demigoges leaders think they know something drunk on powers wine - "but the suit looked nice" for the photo-opportunity with your handshake concubine. wish you knew something wish you were here tigers in the alley hearts wrapped in fear 25 hour news report reads war and decay, don't let common sense stand in your way ape and essence ruins and aid humanitarianism efforts and repose taint the battle spoils chuppa chup - gotta get alone, to quietly contemplate, man woman societies of loss, is it time to get it right? surreal image of the day walking to work, the road along the footpath is being ripped up. select Gingko trees on the roadside have hospital style drip bags attached with tubes inserted in the base of the trunk, glucose I presume. i see one and think that some hosipital escapee is playing a surreal joke, but about ten of them makes a weird sight, "nurse, ten milligrams of chlorophyll, stat!" would make a good photograph in the hazy late autumn air This Cut and Paste / randomised, script-poem spans three years of me scribbling down stuff, obsessing over and playing with words. It has not been edited for any particular style or form but is as random a selection as I can give on a given day in April 2002 Seoul, South Korea. Love, Peter. back © All work herein copyright the stated authors. |
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